


I Know

by Humbae



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Gen, Sickfic, h/c, inspired by recent events, no-wives-no-kids-AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-23
Updated: 2014-02-23
Packaged: 2018-01-13 12:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1226734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Humbae/pseuds/Humbae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you can't plan everything in advance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by recent events and by QueensJenn's glorious posts and tags.
> 
> Warning: absolutely shameless sickfic + H/C + fluff combo. Read at own risk.

The thing about small guys was that they tended to think they were bigger and stronger than they were. Bård could certainly vouch for that. His brother wasn't exactly a midget, but he was not a large man. And while Vegard had a sturdy enough build, he did little power training and thus could not be described as exceptionally strong. If one was to ask Bård, he'd say that 180cm seemed to be the magical limit. Anyone taller than that – like Bård – didn't suffer from such delusions of physical grandeur. He knew his limits and he lived by them. Unlike others.

It was late January and Vegard was going to move house. His current apartment would undergo extensive renovation and instead of dealing with that hassle, Vegard had simply decided to move. He had found a nice place closer to the office with a very reasonable price tag. He would only have one day to move all his stuff, but when he had signed the papers for the new apartment before the turn of the year, he had been confident he could do it with careful planning and making sure everything was packed before the day.

Of course, Vegard hadn't planned on getting sick less than two weeks before the move.

*****

Bård hated moving. He was happy he had bought a small house on the outskirts of Oslo a while ago. He owned the place and would never have to leave unless he wanted to. He even had room to start a family if he ever felt like that, too.

Bård knew he was next to useless helping with moves these days. His fucked up neck guaranteed that he wouldn't be doing any heavy lifting, thus limiting him to packing and cleaning. And if there was something Bård hated more than moving, it was cleaning. He kept his own house neat and that was enough trouble, he did not need to clean someone else's crap as well.

However, when Bård heard that Vegard was sick and still trying to get his things together in time by himself, the brother in Bård couldn't just stand by. He got an axe from his garage and drove to Vegard's, only stopping by to get two sandwiches from the nearest Subway on the way.

Bård rang Vegard's doorbell and waited. When his brother opened, Bård could immediately see that Vegard had been lying when he had said that he just had a slight cold. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were glassy. Bård greeted him by slapping the back of his hand against Vegard's cheek.

“Were you sleeping?” Bård asked.

“Nah, was packing,” Vegard said, sounding even worse than he had on the phone the previous day.

Bård raised his eyebrows and pushed deeper into Vegard's apartment. There were full and empty boxes everywhere. Bård knew that Vegard had started the operation in the beginning of January but had planned to do most of his packing during the two weeks leading up to the move. Bård thought for a moment. As it were, Vegard had nine days to get his crap together before the Saturday when the new apartment would become available and the old one had to be handed back. Of course, they had lots of work to do before their big concert, including a couple of press conferences and interviews and other public appearances, not to mention the hours and hours of practise they needed to put in and the everyday running of their company. Still, nine days should be plenty.

“Sit your ass down before you faint.” Bård meant that humorously, but looking at his brother, he realised he couldn't be far off the mark.

Vegard looked like he might argue but Bård was prepared. The younger Ylvisåker pulled his axe out and pointed at the sofa with it. Vegard had no choice but to obey.

“You have a thermometer?” Bård shouted while he set his fast food packages down in the kitchen.

“In the bathroom,” Vegard said and coughed.

Bård headed there next, axe still in hand. He dug around in Vegard's medicine cabinet, found what he needed and returned to the living room.

“Calle said he definitely won't be here on that day. His cousin has a wedding in Trondheim,” Bård said as he handed the thermometer to Vegard and held his axe up until Vegard slipped it in his mouth.

“Right, you sit there and I'll do the kitchen.”

Vegard was about to protest, but Bård raised the axe again. He was glad he had brought the tool, it neatly saved him from saying anything, just one gesture and his meaning would be crystal clear.

Bård sauntered into the kitchen and got some empty plastic boxes on the counters. He knew he would have to be careful not to strain his neck, but he had learned his limits over the years and would only be packing relatively light items. It was also one of their rare days off, so Bård could spend as long as he needed.

“Temperature?” Bård yelled after he figured enough time had passed to get a reading.

“It's not so bad,” Vegard replied and Bård took his axe up again, shaking it in the air without turning around, knowing he would be in Vegard's line of sight.

“Thirtynine point five,” Vegard replied quietly.

Bård stopped what he was doing and returned to the living room.

“Bed. Now. Or so help me God I'm destroying a door or something,” Bård growled.

“I can't just leave you to do what I'm supposed to be doing!” Vegard protested. Bård was unimpressed.

“You're getting into bed now or I'm carrying you there. Which do you prefer?”

Vegard got up, slightly unsteady on his feet, but he made it to his bedroom. Bård decided to be obnoxious and followed him in, making sure he actually went under the covers.

“Can't believe how stupid you are,” Bård said as he left the room to return to the packing.

*****

Two hours passed by quickly. Bård was very pleased with his progress. For someone living alone, Vegard certainly had more than enough plates and bowls and pans and all sorts of assorted crap in his kitchen. Of course, Bård also knew his brother loved cooking and was very good at it. So if producing all that delicious food required all this crap, Bård would happily pack it to ensure continued meals for himself in the future.

For the last half an hour, Bård had kept stealing glances at the neatly wrapped sandwiches on the counter next to him. His neck was starting to give the first tentative warnings so Bård decided it was time for a break. He grabbed both sandwiches, a bottle of Pepsi from the fridge and a glass of water and put them on the coffee table in the living room, in front of the sofa. For a while he considered just letting Vegard sleep, but he knew he also had to make sure he ate. A chicken soup or something would've probably been more suitable, but that would've required Bård to cook or go to an actual store for a microwaveable one. In the end, laziness had won.

Bård went to Vegard's bedroom quietly. His brother was breathing steadily, fast asleep. Bård took a moment to simply look at him. With his mouth slightly open, the dark curls all over his pillow and the faint flush high on his cheeks, Vegard almost looked adorable. Bård shook his head. This was his older brother. There was nothing even remotely adorable about him.

“Come on, time to eat,” Bård said as he shook his brother awake. Vegard was groggy, unwilling to get up and he declared that he wasn't even hungry.

“Have you eaten anything today?” Bård asked. Vegard yawned.

“Yeah, had a yoghurt.”

“And?”

“That's it.”

“Okay, unless you have soup hidden somewhere, I brought you a sub. Do you want to eat here or come to the living room?” Bård had left his axe in the kitchen, but a look was enough to tell he meant business.

Vegard pushed off the covers and slowly stood up. Bård grabbed his arm to give support. He wasn't happy with how warm Vegard felt even through a shirt.

“Just so you know, I'm putting you into a cold shower if you go over forty,” Bård said conversationally as they walked to the sofa. He let Vegard sink down onto it and grabbed the food and the drinks. He handed a sandwich to Vegard and took a long sip of his Pepsi.

“Why are you doing this?” Vegard asked. Bård looked up. He was already halfway through his sub.

“Because I'd rather you didn't die, you idiot. Who the hell would cook for me then? Now eat.”

Vegard looked at Bård with an open, unguarded expression. Bård concentrated on eating. It felt somehow hugely unfair to look at Vegard when he was so completely defenceless.

“I talked to Jørgen today. We have a press conference in three days, talking about the concerts. You better look less like a walking corpse by then,” Bård said and finished off his food. Vegard was slowly nibbling his, but at least he was eating.

“There's also a talk show appearance and some fan meeting on that day,” Bård continued. He knew he should get back to the packing but he was too lazy to get up just yet. He was also pretty much done in the kitchen and would next need to wipe all the empty cupboards. Some procrastination was in order.

“Listen, I'm really sorry you have to -” Vegard started but was interrupted by his younger brother.

“Shut up. Someone has to do it and you're useless. I may or may not mean just when you're sick,” Bård said and grinned devilishly. His levity was wasted on Vegard though, who mainly looked sad and ashamed of himself. Bård shook his head. Apparently Vegard lost all sense of humour when he was ill.

“Oh right! Almost forgot!” Bård declared and marched into Vegard's bathroom again. He rummaged around in his medicine cabinet, hunting for paracetamol. Bård knew his brother wasn't really big on drugs, but when you were tickling the limit of forty Celsius, you had no say. Bård found some and returned to his brother.

“You're not gonna puke if I give you these, right?”

“Nah, it's fine.”

“Good, cos if you do, I'm not cleaning that up. Your cupboards are more than enough!”

“I'm sorry, I -”

“Oh gods, just shut up and take your pill!”

Vegard obeyed, having finished half of his sandwich and not being able to manage more. Bård gave him permission to go back to sleep. After Vegard closed his bedroom door, Bård opened the TV and spread to occupy three sofa cushions. As much as Bård thought Vegard had girly taste in interior design, at least his sofa was very comfortable.

*****

Bård lazed around for longer than he intended. The sun had gone down ages ago and the day was wearing on. Bård finally got up and went to measure his brother's temperature again. Vegard was dead to the world and remained undisturbed throughout Bård's administrations. But his fever had gone down a bit and Bård was pleased. Time to get back to work.

Bård cleaned every single cupboard in the kitchen. It was unpleasant and tiring, but relatively swift. Bård didn't even attempt to reach the standard he thought Vegard would've preferred. Bård had absolutely no interest in whoever moved to the apartment after his brother. Chances are they would clean the cupboards themselves anyway. Not to mention the big renovation where they might just tear the things down.

Feeling overly pleased with himself and ravenously hungry, Bård opened Vegard's fridge, hoping to find some hidden treasure in the form of leftovers or something. His disappointment was great when there was very little in it.

“Meh, stingy bastard,” Bård muttered to himself and opened the freezer. Oh yes, Grandiosa!

Bård popped the pizza into the oven and sat down in front of the TV again. He flipped the channels for a while until he settled on an action movie. It was a little bit ridiculous, but Bård didn't mind. He watched a car chase scene and the lovely aroma of pepperoni started to fill the place. Bård followed his nose and poked the pizza with a fork. It felt done enough so Bård grabbed a plate, more Pepsi and hauled his dinner to the living room.

After Bård had eaten, he was too lazy to move so he ended up finishing the movie and watching a documentary about some American comedian. It was only when Bård yawned widely and considered going to bed when he remembered that he wasn't in his own house.

Bård got up and went to his brother's bedroom. Vegard was still asleep. Bård gave him a nudge but there was no reaction.

“Lazy asshole,” Bård muttered and took out the thermometer again. If Vegard's fever had gone down some more, Bård would just leave to go home, but if not... well, he'd see.

Six minutes ticked by and Bård looked at the reading. Forty point three. Well crap.

“Wake up,” Bård said and shook his brother. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of cold water. When he returned, Vegard had made very little progress in the process of waking up.

“Come on, don't make me get worried here,” Bård said and shook his brother harder. Vegard slowly blinked his eyes open, looking at Bård fuzzily.

Bård took off Vegard's covers and pulled him into a sitting position. Vegard made a feeble attempt to push off Bård, but Bård swatted his hands away.

“Stop being a nuisance and drink,” Bård said as he held the glass to his brother's dry lips. Vegard emptied the glass, coughed a couple of times and Bård laid him back down.

“You're not getting a blanket,” Bård said as Vegard's hands weakly sought for the covers. Bård wasn't sure if his brother was even fully conscious. So much for leaving for the night.

“I know I threatened to toss you into a cold shower if your fever got higher, but I'd really rather not do it, so kindly stop getting worse,” Bård said to Vegard. He realised he probably sounded insane, talking to his brother as if he was listening, but it made Bård feel better. He ran his hands through his hair and went back to the living room.

Bård found a blanket and several pillows. The sofa wouldn't be ideal for his neck, but there was no way he would leave Vegard alone and go to his own house and bed when his brother's fever was so high. Bård set his phone to wake him in two hours. He would then see if Vegard was any better or worse and get more water in him. Bård realised with shame that he should've made Vegard drink a lot more and made sure that he had water near him.

*****

Bård felt like he had just fallen asleep when his phone beeped. He cancelled the alarm and crawled out of bed. Yawning and scratching his belly, Bård entered Vegard's bedroom and put the lights on. Bård blinked furiously for a while and hunted for the thermometer. He found it, stuck it in Vegard's mouth and tried to stay awake for the next six minutes.

Looking out from the only window in the small room, Bård followed the night life in Oslo. It was rather quiet, but there were some pedestrians, cars and even one ambulance. The emergency vehicle made Bård remember what he was doing and he went back to the bed to snatch the thermometer. Forty point four. Not really better or much worse. Bård didn't like the direction though. He would have to set a new alarm and see if there would be a change.

It was so typical Vegard. Bård was often ill with colds and sniffles, but rarely anything too serious. Vegard, on the other hand, was hardly ever sick, but when he was, he was properly ill.

“You're so bothersome,” Bård said, pushed some stray curls back from Vegard's overheated brow and went to get another glass of cold water.

And so it continued all night: Bård set an alarm, got up to check on Vegard, made him drink as much as he would, got back to sleep, set the alarm again. At around five Bård allowed four hours of uninterrupted sleep for himself, setting the next alarm at nine. He almost didn't get up when it rang. He picked up the phone, shut the alarm and put it back down. He was drifting back to sleep, very nearly reaching the point of nodding off when he realised that he had indeed had an alarm on for a reason. He got up with a groan and entered Vegard's bedroom again.

“Morning, asshole. I hope you appreciate what I do for you,” Bård greeted his brother. Vegard didn't stir. He had been hovering around forty Celsius all night, not going higher, but not dipping any lower either. Bård was worried. He wasn't sure what to do. He knew it wasn't dangerously high yet, but if it went up, he would seriously have to consider calling an ambulance or something.

Bård took the thermometer again and slipped it in Vegard's mouth, making sure it stayed where it should. Six minutes to wait in boredom. Bård let his mind wander, thinking about their new song. Was it 'I lick it and I kick it' or 'I lick it and I drop it'? Bård couldn't remember. He and Vegard would be singing the chorus together and both had to learn the song, unlike their second new one that would be Vegard's alone.

Bård shook his head and pulled the thermometer out. Oh thank fuck. It had finally gone down to thirtynine point three, the lowest it had been all night.

“You really are more trouble than you are worth,” Bård said and went to the bathroom. He took a shamelessly long shower and spent ages drying off and fixing his hair. He then padded to the kitchen with bare feet and was about to cook when he remembered a small detail. He looked at his clothes thrown haphazardly on the sofa and scrunched his nose. Although he had had long breaks and worked at a reasonable pace the previous day, he had still gotten slightly sweaty. He ignored his own clothes and raided Vegard's closet.

Dressed in a light grey hoodie and sweatpants, Bård returned to the kitchen to find food. He made a simple omelette and sat down in front of the TV in the living room to eat it. Bård went through his calendar in his head. They had rehearsal planned for that day. Was there something else? Bård didn't remember. Either way, they would probably cancel the rehearsal. Not much point in it if their lead singer was bed-ridden.

Bård finished his breakfast and went to poke Vegard. It took some effort but finally watery brown eyes were looking at Bård.

“Hi. How you feeling?”

“Uhh... tired. Gotta pee.”

“Figured, with the amount of water I've been pushing on you.”

Vegard looked hopelessly confused, not having any memories of drinking anything. Bård helped him up and held him as he nearly collapsed on the floor. Once Vegard was suitably steady on his feet, Bård walked him to the bathroom and waited outside.

“Don't faint in there,” Bård said and gave the door a kick. Vegard didn't reply, but Bård heard a flush and water running from the tap. As soon as Vegard opened the door, Bård slipped his arm over his shoulder.

“Two days to go,” Bård said, mostly to himself.

“To what?” Vegard asked. Bård could see that he was fading fast.

“The press conference.”

“The... what?”

“Never mind.”

Bård kept Vegard upright, but when they got to the bedroom, he had to lift his brother on his bed. Vegard was breathing hard, cheeks flushed and brow slightly sweaty. He launched into a coughing fit, during which Bård held him in a sitting position until it passed. After that, Vegard was breathing even harder.

“You just have no sense whatsoever, do you?” Bård muttered as he retrieved more water.

Bård settled in for a long, boring day. He did some packing, some work on Vegard's laptop and took care of his brother. Vegard was completely wiped out but his fever went steadily down. By the evening Bård finally dared leave his brother alone and went home. They were slightly behind with their work, but that could still be remedied.

Bård had told Vegard very firmly that he was to leave his crap alone and just rest to recover enough for their planned activities on the following day. Bård knew his brother was too neurotic to let strangers touch his stuff, but if he couldn't get everything together in time, he would just have to stop being a crazy cheapskate and hire professionals to handle the move.

*****

In the end, Vegard did manage to look less like a walking cadaver by the time they had the press conference. He was still clearly ill, but he kept it contained surprisingly well. Bård was quite positive not many people in the room even noticed. He certainly did though. Vegard looked exhausted, coughed occasionally and even yawned with his mouth wide open a couple of times. Bård had mentally shaken his head and physically kicked his brother's legs under the table. Vegard barely noticed.

After the press conference, they had a photoshoot and a quick fan meet-up in a nearby park. Bård wasn't overly happy that they took place outside, but Vegard convinced him it was fine. They had a hasty lunch after that and hurried on to a talk show appearance. It was unbelievable how long the filming process took when their segment on TV would be very short. When they finally finished it it was time for dinner.

"Do we want to eat out or grab a couple of Grandiosas and go to my place?" Bård asked, thinking about the nearest restaurants.

"Not really hungry," Vegard said.

"I think my place," Bård said, happily ignoring his brother. "I'm done looking presentable, I just want to go home and take my pants off."

"Ever so charming."

"You know it," Bård said and winked. Vegard smiled but instead of laughing launched into a coughing fit.

Bård felt a little bit uncomfortable, wishing he could somehow help. There was nothing to do though, so he decided that getting Vegard home to rest would be the best thing.

"Okay!" Bård said, maybe a little bit overly perky. He was parked close, having come by car purely so he could pick up Vegard in the morning lest he get it in his head to walk or something. Not that he had told his brother about it. Bård just claimed to be lazy and that Vegard's place happened to be on his route (which was a blatant lie and they both knew it).

They got in the car and Bård drove out of the city and into a supermarket on the way to his place. He was starving and had ran out of coffee that morning. Bård really needed some kind of a system, such a disaster had to be avoided in the future.

By the time Bård pulled into the supermarket's parking lot, Vegard was fast asleep. Bård decided to leave him be and went to the store by himself, making sure to lock the doors.

When he returned several minutes later, Vegard hadn't moved an inch. Bård tossed his groceries in the back seat and drove the short distance left to his house.

"Hey! Stop drooling on my upholstery!" Bård said and poked his brother.

Vegard was entirely unwilling to move but had to eventually get up when Bård started poking him relentlessly.

"Unbelievably lazy!" Bård declared as he opened the door to his small white house. The building was as familiar to Vegard as his own apartment was. After he took his shoes and jacket off, he made a beeline to Bård's couch and all but collapsed on it.

“Go ahead, make yourself comfortable,” Bård said as he started emptying his bags into the fridge. Vegard was already snoring.

*****

By some wonder, the Ylvisåker brothers managed to catch up to the lost time with their work. Vegard also managed to pack everything in time and recruit a couple of friends to help with the move. Their mother and Bård would be the cleaning crew, something that Bård resented. But then he watched his brother struggle to organise everything, keep up with the rehearsals and make sense in interviews while still not up to full strength and he felt impotent fury wash over himself. So fine, Bård would do something he hated to save his brother from the hassle of having to get someone else to do it or worse yet, do it himself. In a way, Bård loved that they were so busy and were really pushing their career forwards, but sometimes he wondered if the price would be too high.

*****

The day of the move dawned crisp and cold. By the time Bård crawled out of bed and made it to Vegard's soon to be old apartment, the rented van in front of it was already half-full. Bård greeted Magnus and their friend Kjetil. The two were carrying a cupboard and sweating like pigs. Suddenly Bård didn't feel so bad about being part of the cleaning crew.

Bård rode the elevator up and sauntered down the corridor. Vegard passed him, carrying two boxes stacked on top of each other. Only a pile of curls was visible over the top.

“Morning,” Bård said and held the elevator door open.

“Oh hi!” Vegard said, not having even seen Bård. “Beware, mom's taken over.”

“I'm sure I can handle it,” Bård said, trying to convince himself.

He entered the apartment and went to say hi to their mother. She was in full speed, as Vegard had warned him. It took roughly two seconds before Bård had a mop and a bucket in his hands and was shown into a corner where he was to start.

“And work carefully. Just stop if your neck hurts and tell mamma,” their mother said while shoving Bård into his corner. Bård just stood there for a moment with a mop in his hands until his brain caught on. And thus the endless cleaning began. Bård did have several breaks 'just in case' and if someone asked him why he was lazing about, he rubbed his neck a bit. Worked like a charm.

Since Bård was working at a slow pace, he could observe the others. Magnus was frighteningly strong, easily carrying large and heavy things by himself. Vegard had chosen carefully and asked their second largest and strongest friend to help. Kjetil was into power training and could carry even more than Magnus.

That was where the short guy complex kicked in, Bård noted. Vegard was clearly trying to compensate for his less impressive stature. Normally, he would've gotten away with it, but now when he had barely recovered from his illness, it was downright dangerous. Bård wanted to say something, but their mother was there and surely she would command Vegard to stop if she thought he was over-doing it. She had already told Bård to drink twice and take a break once. Bård was still left with a bad feeling.

“Van full yet?” Bård asked as Vegard came back to the apartment. They had already driven one load to the new place and it looked like they would only need to run one more.

“Almost, just that corner and then we're about done here,” Vegard said while wiping sweat from his face.

“Nearly done then, eh?”

“Well we just need to carry everything up at the new place, but essentially, yes.”

“Good. I hate moving and cleaning!”

“What was that?” Vegard asked from the other room. Bård waved him off. He had sounded whiny even to his own ears.

They finished everything in the old apartment and it was time to leave. Vegard had left his keys and spare keys on the kitchen counter and slammed the door shut. Time to move on.

*****

Bård had not seen the new apartment. Since the schedule was so tight, even Vegard hadn't been able to visit the place more than twice. He had gotten the keys that morning, but since they were so short on time, he hadn't had time to go clean there in advance. Bård knew that would bother Vegard to no end. However, such was life. Sometimes you couldn't plan everything.

“Oh you're on top floor?” Bård commented as he, Vegard and their mother piled into the elevator. It was rather small but hopefully each piece of Vegard's furniture would fit in it. Bård was pretty sure the sofa wouldn't and was mentally high-fiving himself for being spared the horror of dragging that thing up nine stories.

“We only have the van for two more hours,” Vegard said as he checked his watch. Bård could almost feel him start fretting.

“That should be plenty,” their mother said and patted Vegard's arm. Bård thought he looked a bit pale and worn. He held his mouth shut though. Just one van load to go. Should be quick and easy.

Vegard opened the door and Bård got in with their mother. Vegard only took a cursory glance at the space and where they had piled the stuff when they took the first load up. He then ran down the stairs, the elevator being already on the ground floor to be loaded with the assorted stuff by Magnus and Kjetil.

Bård looked around the apartment, quite impressed with the room design and the materials used. It was a nice place, no denying that. It was also suitably clean, so Bård just sat himself down in the nearest chair and waited. Their mother busied herself by putting sheets to Vegard's bed.

An hour slipped by fast. Bård perfected the art of looking occupied while actually doing almost nothing. He saw Magnus and Kjetil carry the biggest and heaviest pieces of furniture together and Vegard carrying endless amounts of boxes alone. They were making good progress with emptying the van and Bård felt less guilty for slacking about. Vegard came up with two boxes stacked on top of each other and bent to put them down.

“You guys almost done? I'm thinking we should order pizza,” Bård said while browsing a catalogue on his phone. There was no reply from Vegard.

Bård turned around when he heard Vegard gasp faintly.

“Well?” Bård asked, a frown forming on his face.

Vegard was leaning against the boxes he had just put down, not moving an inch. Bård realised something was wrong.

“Hey, are you okay?” Bård asked, put his phone away and approached his brother. Vegard nodded, but his face had lost all colour and he seemed to hardly dare breathe.

“Are you about to faint?” Bård asked, preparing to catch Vegard if he collapsed.

“No,” Vegard said and Bård could hear the pain in his voice. “Back,” he managed to specify.

“Ah shit. Mamma!” Bård shouted and their mother came in from the bathroom where she had been scrubbing the toilet.

Bård explained the situation. Their mother took a cursory glance and told Vegard to keep moving.

“Just work yourself out of the misery,” she instructed and patted him on the shoulder. Vegard followed her advice.

*****

Bård was sitting on the sofa and listing everything he wanted on the pizzas. The young boy on the other end of the line seemed to have trouble following. He twice asked if Bård really wanted all those toppings on a single pizza. Yes he did. Very much so. The boy stuttered a bit but managed to confirm Bård's order: four family size pizzas with basically everything on them. Bård put his phone away and smiled in glee. He was absolutely starving after all the work. The day had mostly slipped past and everyone was getting hungry. But they were very nearly done.

In the end, the van's rental time was about to run out, so the men had emptied everything to the lobby and their mother had gone to return the van. She would then continue on to home, having done all the cleaning and organising there was to do that day. Bård could also have left but he wanted his free pizza.

Magnus and Kjetil came in with the kitchen table. It was the last larger piece of furniture. They went back down to get the last few boxes and chairs and passed by Vegard who was carrying a single box. Bård had noted that his brother's speed had dwindled down after he pulled his back. It was also blatantly obvious that he was in a lot of pain. Bård wanted to yell at him to sit his ass down before he did some permanent damage but held his silence. Surely Vegard must know his own limits?

The final boxes were carried in mere minutes before the doorbell rang. Bård almost ran to get the pizzas. He took his loot to the kitchen and told Vegard to go pay. They didn't have any plates or utensils, but then again, pizza needed nothing but the box it came in and bare hands. Bård happily took a slice and drank from his Pepsi bottle. As everyone had arrived by car, there were no beers. Kjetil was lamenting this fact and urging Vegard to have a house-warming party soon. Vegard nodded and smiled, but Bård could see that he wasn't really fully there. In fact, it seemed like Vegard could barely tolerate even sitting down. His hunger appeared to be greater than his pain though. There wasn't much conversation since everyone was too tired even after stuffing their faces. Magnus and Kjetil left soon after eating, accompanied by profound thanks from Vegard.

"Now that was a perfectly fine Saturday wasted," Bård said and pointed at his watch. It was nearing eight and Bård was amazed how swiftly the day had slipped past.

"Thanks for coming though," Vegard said and Bård recognised that he was being gently directed towards leaving. Not a chance.

"Mom made your bed already, you can just go collapse there," Bård said with a very strong hint that that was what his brother should do.

"Yeah I'll just put some -"

"You will put nothing nowhere except yourself to bed. How stupid can you be?"

"Eh? What are you -?" Vegard asked with alarm as Bård stood up to his full height and came to stand right in Vegard's face.

"I feel like I've said this too often lately, but whatever. Bed. Now."

Vegard looked at his brother. Bård fully expected him to argue, but then again, he could also see that Vegard was not okay. There was a short battle of wills. Not a single word was spoken but a world of meanings was traded in that one long look.

_I'm your older brother, you can't tell me what to do. I'm fine, nothing is wrong, you shouldn't see me weak and hurt._

_Yeah, well I'm worried about you but unable to say it gently. So just accept my bullying for what it is. I get that you want to appear strong in front of me, I really do. I don't want to see you weak and hurt either, but we can't deny reality. Just obey for once and don't make me put into words what I cannot say._

With a defeated sigh, Vegard turned towards his bedroom. Bård pretended that he didn't see him limp and take support from the wall.

"Take your shirt off and lay on your stomach," Bård instructed.

Vegard clumsily obeyed. It was obvious that he could barely move at that point.

"What are you doing?" Vegard asked, trying to twist around to look at Bård.

"Just lay flat. This is something I learned from physiotherapy."

"Should I be worried?"

"Possibly."

With that reassurance, Bård started. He very carefully started feeling Vegard's back, easing his touch when his brother gasped in pain. Judging by the reactions, Bård soon had an estimate of where the sorest spots were.

Bård started ever so gently, gliding his hands along Vegard's back. He could feel how tight the muscles were, almost quivering under his touch. Bård pressed down very lightly at first, warming up and using long strokes. Gradually, Bård started adding more force. He dug his fingers and palms in, kneading the knots. He started approaching the lower back, where he knew the worst place was.

"Stop, stop!" Vegard yelped as Bård's hands found an especially sore spot.

Bård stopped, but only to give a momentary reprieve.

"I know it hurts, but this helps. Trust me, I know," Bård reassured and continued. He tried to ignore Vegard tensing and gasping under his touch.

Bård didn't know how long he continued, but eventually Vegard started relaxing. Bård could feel the muscles getting lax under his touch and the skin warming up. It was clear that the pain was starting to transform into pleasure. Bård heard Vegard's pained grunts turn into ecstatic moans.

Bård kept on going. He kept a slow pace, working steadily and going through Vegard's entire back and shoulders. His hands were starting to tire and he felt the warning twinges from his neck telling him to stop, but he didn't. Only when Bård felt Vegard go completely limp and his breath even out in sleep did Bård start to ease up. He slowly lightened his touch until he gave the last few caresses.

A flippant comment was on Bård's lips. His first impulse was to mock, to say something stupid. He kept quiet.

Bård remembered very clearly when he had hurt his neck. The situation had been eerily similar: he had over-done it and not listened to his body. A loosened grip, a slip and that had been it. Bård had only vague memories of the time immediately after the accident. One thing was certain though: Vegard had been there.

Bård remembered Vegard's strong, warm hands, always helping him. And Vegard had been so nice about it. He didn't verbally abuse his brother or imply that Bård was in any way inconveniencing him. Bård hadn't had to hesitate at all, he knew Vegard would take care of him, that he would always be there. Sometimes Bård was ashamed of his inability to return the favour.

“I guess I'm the bigger idiot, really,” Bård whispered.

He dug around the boxes marked as 'bedroom' and finally found a blanket. He covered Vegard with it and turned the lights off. Bård went to the door, dodging boxes and bags and tables on the way. He knew he would claim to have suffered greatly, but in truth he had rather enjoyed the day, working together with his brother and being able to help him. Not that he would ever tell it to anyone.


End file.
